REFLECTIONS ON THE REALITIES OF MARRIAGE

Each time I attend a wedding ceremony, especially in church. I take a time to reflect. I consider two individuals pledging themselves to uncertainties.

They, both, cannot tell what lies ahead. That’s why marriage is first a walk of faith. The reason is that whatever you think you know about an individual are skirmishes, or theories.
When you begin to interact, their real selves will appear and you may begin to wonder at an instant if you have PLEDGED YOUR LIFE TO THE RIGHT PERSON.

As a young man, I am more prepared and bracing my heart for the realities in marriage than the fantasies of ring swaps, candlelight dinners, spirited orgasms and neighbourhood waking moans.
I remember some time ago, my dad asked me about my girlfriend. Then he gave me a counsel I will share:
"Olumide, a guest that will not leave your house anytime soon, it is wise you become convinced if you can peacefully live with such an individual."

I’ve never thought of that. Important counsel. Check! Check!! Check!!!
I kept that advice since that day in the safest part of my heart. I couldn’t tell all that he meant but I was sure of one thing:
"Son, it is your choice, get it right because it is once and for all."
So when I saw, the couple pledging to themselves in health, wealth & poverty till death puts an asunder, I knew this is beyond just a promise, it is a covenant God is a witness to, and we, the congregants, are both witnesses, validators, adjudicators and well-wishers to this uncertain journey.
When the preacher began his sermon. I gave all my attention. I’m interested in hearing something that can help my marriage. I am trying to crisis-proof my future home right at the moment.
Remember, I told you that results in life thrive on knowledge and is sustained by understanding. A successful marriage is a product of quality knowledge oiled daily my understanding [both in the denotative & connotative sense].

The preacher, introducing his sermon, lamented distance which didn’t allow them to have ample time to counsel the couple but he mentioned that the little time spent and the counsel they were given is enough to keep their home. Then he did something that I was glad I witnessed. He gave each of them a copy of a material he wrote as a guide for their marriage.
I tell you sincerely, I can not marry a woman who does not read. I have made interesting resolutions about my life by just encountering profound knowledge from a book. In the journey of marriage, books are important. You must read to understand your spouse, your children, your relatives, and everyone around.
Take this advice, sincerely, a consciously planned family and a family who lead their lives by chance is like light and darkness.
The preacher added that "someone said that what determines if your marriage will succeed is who you marry. He added that who you are is also a determiner."
He also stated that there should be room for compromise, the couple must at one point or the other, allow for compromise, in the interest of peace.
Imagine having two "hot-tempered" people in marriage, if one does not bring his or her temper down for the sake of peace, the home may crashland before them.
As an individual, the greatest thing that matters to me is peace. By God’s grace, I have enjoyed it in my family even when we don’t have all the money in this whole wide world, I don’t want a distortion of that in my home. Peace is my greatest priority in a marriage.
The preacher also added another thing. He said "you have been seeing the errors in your parent’s marriages, now you have entered yours.
Now is the time to deploy what you have learnt, you have been telling your parents to keep calm over issues, now is your turn to show that calmness in your home.
Therefore, individuals should marry people who feel their vibe.
Author

Ojo Olumide Emmanuel[Writer & Humanbeing] is a Nigerian Poet and Book Editor. He is the Editor-in-Chief of The Nigerian Review and a Consultant-Editor Litvo Journal. He lives in Minna.

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